Today is the First Day of the Rest of your Life

*** warning, this post may create emotion and may or may not be suitable for children to read - this is not meant to be a joke

** pictures will have to come to this post at another time when I can get stills off my flip. I will update this blog and notify you of the change.


If there is a day that is the start of a strong change within me, I would have to so yesterday was that day.

I arrived at our meeting place at 10am for a day with the missionary girls and their Nambian guide. Along with them was three translators and two other Hostel Backpackers that decided to come along. One of them, Rick, is a semi-professional poker player around the world. He decided to take off for Turks and Caicos after his terrible divorce and start anew. I naturally gravitate towards him to learn of his traveling experiences and question him to an annoying level about poker.

We bus our way to the first stop where we weasel our way into an orphanage without an appointment. We are greeted by the Pyschologist on staff and briefed a bit on the facilities and children. Out from the corner of my eye, I see a child no older then six running full speed at me. His arms spread, he does a leap frog into a giant hug as if I am his brother coming home from a journey of years. He sits in my lap and proceeds to play with my hat and glasses, doning them himself.

The group starts to move ahead into the orphanage and I carry Thomas in with me. As I hold him in my arms, we take a tour. There are all age ranges of these children up as high as 33 years old. They range in their physical and mental disabilities as well as wide variety of serious abuses or neglect. Thomas is clearly of neglect. I put Thomas down and break out my camera. Its dead! I immediately go for the Flip Cam. I start to videotape and feel aweful doing so. It seems like its a show or spectacle, but I continue when I see the childrens intrique with the device.

My camera pans to a girl, maybe 13-16 who is eerily holding a doll. This is not a normal doll like barbie or a cabbage patch kid. This is one of those babies that you would see at a CPR class or in a horror film. She was walking around slowly and from a distance intriqued by me. Im holding back the sad but true feeling of making fun of her (instinct) but Im interrupted by a voice over my shoulder. Rick (poker player, world traveller) whispers in my ear, see her ankles. I scan down and notice two circular rings on either ankle. Those are shackle marks - he says.

This is a girl who was shackled, raped, became pregnant, had the baby and then it was taken away from her - hence the doll for replacement. When I say I was floored. Well, I definitely needed a moment. That was just the start of the numerous stories that I picked up on here.

This is a facility of total love where the children feel safe. Unfortunately they can only take so many so they choose the worst of the worst circumstances. We finished the tour and along the way I spent some time with another boy by the name of Junior. He was apparently beaten severely with a terribly rough childhood and was wearing a constant sadness, but a feeling of safety and calm. He didnt talk much and if he did it wasnt english but I decided to put my arm around him and massage his shoulder to let him know that I was there. I dont know what it was about this boy, but he gave me an important feeling of powerlessness.

There is nothing at this time that I can do for him but just to be there in presence. On my way out the gate with the group, I kept looking back at Junior. A sudden urgency came through and I ran back into the gate. I brought a translator with me and told her to repeat after me. This is a gift of love from me to you. Keep it forever. I handed him my RayBan Sunglasses and waved goodbye.

As I walk down the street choked up, I notice the others have already moved on. I assume that is related to the hundreds of times they may have done something like this. But this was my first time. I did however notice that I couldnt part with my Penn State Hat and I should have been able too, because what do I need it for? I can always get another one. As the sun glares into my left eye, I glance at my watch to realize it is only noon. I suck up my emotion and bring up the need for lunch.

One of the translators mentions that her mother-in-laws house is near and she will cook us a full lunch. Brilliant! A huge downpour ensues as we chow down on, do I have to say? chicken, rice, beans. But this chicken was different. It was the best tasting boring ol chicken on the bone, I have ever had. It had to be the fact that it was not americanized. The digestion process was as if I had eaten a salad. Just a whole different thing when you are eating truly organic.

After lunch we proceed to the Aids Center for Children - as if Im not emotionally drenched. We arrive with a check-in process and I crack a few jokes - must be that chicken. They escort us into a small room - looks just like a yoga or ballet studio or taking classes at a gym, but with cracked mirrors, open windows and random toys in the corner. A few minutes goes by and about 15 children roll into the studio. These are children who from the majority were born to a mother with aids - usually the mother died at childbirth as their immune systems couldnt kick in the recovery. Others were from blood tranfusions.

The bizzarity here was they look like normal children, play like normal children and have the energy of me on three cups of coffee. They all take a seat on plastic stools and we sit and stare at each other for a while. Well, the group is kind of clueless as what to do and the kids speak portuguese. One of the mission girls sits down in the middle of them and starts conversing with one of the translators. I decide to play a game of slap hands with one of the little girls. That brings a crowd and now I have to play it with all of them.

Eventually we come to a few traditional childrens games but they all involve running and a bit of competition and I become one of the children - except Im like this big monstrous brother running around with kids on each arm and leg while sweating an entire lake. Out of breath to say the least, a boy arrives with a glass of water for me. I question the water to the translators, is this bottled? They dont understand and I dont care. I drink it right down. I have to be honest, there were times I was afraid, even with the knowledge that Aids or HIV is only passed through bodily fluids. Its just a passing fear, like when the boy gave me the water, but you cant face these fears unless you are here, right?

Our time comes to an end and a boy by the name of Samuel probably 12, becomes attached to me - no I mean literally. He is facing me with each foot of his on each foot of mine and a bear hug around my waist. Whereever I walk he walks. I take steps toward the exit and proceed, but he does not relent. The group of kids gives us a gift and we continue to the gate. Samuel is still attached. Finally, I raise my voice a bit and do a serious unravel.

Once again unprepared with gifts, I scramble through my bag for something to give to Samuel. I have nothing. As silly as this sounds, I am gifted an American Quarter by one of the mission girls and I pass it along to Samuel from me. Still cant part with the hat and I am mad at myself even now that I cant. Clearly I have more internal work to do.

These two facilities that I was at, to put it in perspective - if given $50,000 dollars, it would be the equivalent of probably a million dollars to a facility of similar in America. They would probably name the building after you, but if you accepted that - we would have to question your giving.

The bus ride home, I can already see myself, falling back into my usual self - but the impressions made on me of the day would be an imprint that is undeniable. I found myself thinking about it all night and still today - which means, I will be thinking about this even when I get home.

To review - I randomly met these mission girls by striking up a conversation at the Hostel. This was never planned nor expected. I was just opening myself to the concept of YES MAN. They mentioned what they were going to do on June 9 and asked if I wanted to come along. I said YES, put it in my brain and made sure I was on time. You might want to slow down a bit, notice the things around you and change your schedule here and there to be able to say YES.

You will be glad you did...